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Monday, March 12, 2012

BEING FORTY-SOMETHING

Last month I retreated with some wonderful women, three of whom are in their early thirties, and at one point the question was, "What's it like to be in your forties?"

I can't remember what I said exactly, but what I meant was,

 I don't worry so much.

And then, thanks to Pat, I read A THREE DOG LIFE by Abigail Thomas. It's a memoir written by a woman whose husband sustains a head injury that results in his loss of memory. Talk about life-changing.

Anyhow, there's lots of wisdom in this little book, and here's a passage that applies to the "forties" query and some of what I was trying to get across in my response:


"When I was young, the future was where all the good stuff was kept, the party clothes, the pretty china, the family silver, the grown-up jobs. The future was a land of its own, and we couldn’t wait to get there. Not that youth wasn’t great, but it came with disadvantages; I remember the feeling I was missing something really good that was going on somewhere else, somewhere I wasn’t. I remember feeling life passing me by. I remember impatience. I don’t feel that way now. If something interesting is going on somewhere else, good, thank god, I hope nobody calls me. Sometimes it’s all I can do to brush my teeth, toothpaste is just too stimulating."

 Anyone else have thoughts on being whatever age you are?



8 comments:

  1. Ha! That line about the toothpaste cracked me up. Some days are like that. But yeah, I'd say that's true for my fifties too. It's moved beyond "I don't worry so much" to "I don't really care what others think." I tell my teen daughter (where what others think is SO important), "I can't wait for you to experience that freedom!"

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    1. Vicky, I LOVE what you tell your daughter. Way to knock out the negativity associated with aging!

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  2. Excellent post! I've found that my fifties, despite deep personal grief, have been the best time of my life. I feel free to be truly myself, and to stretch toward my full potential -- and I really like the person I've grown into.

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    1. Beth, I love your thoughts on your fifties and look forward to it for myself!

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  3. I knew you would love that book.

    Age is a number... and I really do live my life like the Tim McGraw song... I like each day like I'm dying. I never diet... I never exerise... I work for exerise or ride horses. I avoid conflict... never did when I was young... as I've said before I have a good case of "don't care" and I like it.

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    1. I think your case of "don't care" is catching. Thanks. xo

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  4. It's an interesting question Irene. I am nearing 70 & on one side I have the constant motivation to learn and grow, so I do care about that. It may be because I'm still in an elementary school & working with young people. On the other hand, although I care some about my appearance, I dress down more in clothes that please me & almost never think about what others are doing. The book sounds great. I do remember that 'future' thinking, as in 'we're going to do this' & I want to be sure to...' Thanks!

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    1. Linda, I know what you mean about the constant motivation to learn and grow - I care about that too. What sloughing off all that other stuff allows us to do is actually pursue those creative, learning things. You are an inspiration to me. Keep going!

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Your thoughts?