Reading, Teaching, Learning. Today we are all blogging about Holly's OLW for 2016: WAIT.
I have a complicated relationship with waiting. I remember reading a poem once that basically said historically, it's a woman's job to wait -- while the husband goes to war or work or whatever. Why would I want to be THAT woman?
The truth is, I can be terribly impatient and impetuous, and one of the ways I deal with things in my life that I can't process, or feelings I am not ready to feel, is to dive headlong into some task, to chase after some goal, to go, do, move! This has been a valuable coping mechanism for me for many years and has helped me achieve a lot of things.
But. These days I am far less interested in going/doing/moving as I am in just BEING -- being myself, being content, being present. And waiting is a part of all these things. I can wait to check my email, I can wait to respond to an invitation, I can wait and see how I feel instead of planning (obsessing!) about the future. I can sleep on it. I can pause, pray, meditate before I commit or make a decision. All of these tools are available to me and help me know myself better, and to honor that self.
How often in the past have I created my own troubles by NOT waiting?!
And yet, waiting is still a struggle sometimes. It feels so passive, like nothing is happening. What I' m finding is that that moment, of waiting, is exactly the place where faith enters in. And I want to be there to meet it.
Thanks so much, Holly, for opening the discussion!