Today's piece is "Snake and Butterfly" from the workshop of Johann Teyler.
I think I can strengthen this poem in revision by paying attention to internal rhyme and word choice. I love the basic idea, though, and don't think the meaning of the poem will change at all. But. One never knows with poetry! A poem is like citrus fruit: it ripens on the tree, and will hang there ripe for a really long time, just waiting for wind or a hand or rain to come along and change everything. Delicious!
Speaking of delicious, be sure to visit central Florida gal Sheila Renfro to see how our Progressive Poem is progressing!
My initial thought-what a strange image to choose. I was so hoping the snake wasn't planning to feast on the butterfly. Love the poem!ReplyDelete
These voices all month have been so enchanting, Irene. I love the wonder in this one and love hearing all of the voices you have had in you all of these years! :)ReplyDelete
You did the painting too, Irene. It's beautiful, and the voice of the snake (which we often think of as sinister) is rather dumbfounded. Love its wonderings.ReplyDelete
I will slither towards you,
Whisper, “Come here.”
Before striking as you disappear.
(c) Charles Waters 2015 all rights reserved.