I have a complicated relationship with waiting. I remember reading a poem once that basically said historically, it's a woman's job to wait -- while the husband goes to war or work or whatever. Why would I want to be THAT woman?
The truth is, I can be terribly impatient and impetuous, and one of the ways I deal with things in my life that I can't process, or feelings I am not ready to feel, is to dive headlong into some task, to chase after some goal, to go, do, move! This has been a valuable coping mechanism for me for many years and has helped me achieve a lot of things.
But. These days I am far less interested in going/doing/moving as I am in just BEING -- being myself, being content, being present. And waiting is a part of all these things. I can wait to check my email, I can wait to respond to an invitation, I can wait and see how I feel instead of planning (obsessing!) about the future. I can sleep on it. I can pause, pray, meditate before I commit or make a decision. All of these tools are available to me and help me know myself better, and to honor that self.
How often in the past have I created my own troubles by NOT waiting?!
And yet, waiting is still a struggle sometimes. It feels so passive, like nothing is happening. What I' m finding is that that moment, of waiting, is exactly the place where faith enters in. And I want to be there to meet it.
Thanks so much, Holly, for opening the discussion!
wait is a four letter word... I need to work on that too. My mind works so fast that sometimes my reasoning cant keep up.
ReplyDeletePerhaps waiting is something we learn. Hoping so. Interesting to look at the moment of waiting and what that means.
ReplyDeleteA lovely first post after your OLW. I think there is definitely a connection between waiting, simply being, and delight. You can delight in lots of things, but delighting in who you are takes stillness.
ReplyDeleteIrene it's lovely to have you join us! I can certainly relate to the push-pull between doing and waiting you describe. I think the instantaneous possibilities of communication have made us impatient. I love how you connect faith with waiting and being at the crossroads to make the connection.
ReplyDeleteIrene, I'm so excited for you to be writing with us in the Spiritual Journey Thursday community! I agree that WAITING has all kinds of complicated implications. Sometimes it gets a bad rap - but you've pointed out the positives perfectly in your BEING paragraph! I love your word, DELIGHT, and look forward to writing about it in February!
ReplyDeleteIrene, your contentedness about being your yourself, content and quiet certainly is inspiring to someone like me who does struggle with the waiting period. I love the line that questions how our own internal struggles with the pause button point out that waiting is not an easy task.
ReplyDelete"What I'm finding is that that moment, of waiting, is exactly the place where faith enters in. And I want to be there to meet it." I need to get there, where you are! Thanks for pointing the way...Thank you for your entire reflection. You've expressed the waiting challenge I, too, feel, more peacefully & positively than I ever could have expressed. Thanks for giving voice to all of us who share your spiritual journey! God bless you!
ReplyDeleteI know I would be better off a lot of times if I had waited. So hard!
ReplyDeleteInteresting...to revisit your post, now two months/eight weeks later (which ones sounds as if more time has past to have implemented what you shared), and ask myself if I have gotten better at implementing the words of wisdom you shared--words of wisdom that resonate with me, yet again! To answer my own question, every once in a while I'm please that I have become more healthily detached from the need for immediate knowing or recognition--but not nearly enough, and certainly not totally. Regardless, that feels like a step toward more waiting; maybe even an important precursor to successful waiting--to be less egotistically involved in the outcome; to feel less need to press for an immediate, favorable outcome. Thanks for inviting a revisit of this posting. ...There's still so much to think through...God bless you!
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