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Today's
#bloglikecrazy prompt from Javacia Bowser is “write a post about
your family.” There are so many things I could write! But I've
decided to share some about Charles and MadiLynn, the two newest
additions to our family.
My mother and her
husband are foster parents and recently adopted Charles (8) and
MadiLynn (6).
When my mother
talked with me about their decision to adopt, she said, “So how do
you feel about getting a new brother and sister?” I imagine the mix
of displacement and intrigue I felt was similar to many an older
child's feelings about getting a new sibling. I was initially
resistant to thinking of them as a brother and sister... I mean, I
already have brothers and sisters – the ones I grew up with. It
took me a while to figure out what my role with these kids would be,
and it took a while for me to fully open my heart to them.
I didn't understand
my mother's choice – as I 'm sure she hasn't understood many of
mine. Her decision to adopt more/other children made the little-girl
in me feel I wasn't enough, when really it had nothing whatsoever to
do with me. And these children, like all children, need love. Even
more love than most, I think, given their particular circumstances
and the general feelings of abandonment/confusion all foster/adopted
children feel. And wasn't I in a great position to offer them love?
So, gradually, I've
come around. It still makes me sad sometimes that I am not able to enjoy my mom in the ways I had hoped to as my own children have needed me less and less-- she's in the throes of busy parenting, and I remember how hectic that can be! (How's that for a role reversal?)
The point is this: Charles and MadiLynn are precious people. I can be their big sister who
functions more like an aunt. They are one of the most unexpected
things that has happened in my life, and I honor and trust the forces
that brought them here. My goal is simply to love them, to be a safe
haven for them, a constant in their lives. We have something very
important in common – a loving mother.
Very special, but the mixed feelings sound right, too. Change in family dynamics often throw us for a loop. I know these thoughtful ways of your mother are in you, too, Irene. There's a story or a poem coming...
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