Wednesday, November 26, 2014

About My New Adopted Brother & Sister #bloglikecrazy

image from here
Today's #bloglikecrazy prompt from Javacia Bowser is “write a post about your family.” There are so many things I could write! But I've decided to share some about Charles and MadiLynn, the two newest additions to our family.

My mother and her husband are foster parents and recently adopted Charles (8) and MadiLynn (6).

When my mother talked with me about their decision to adopt, she said, “So how do you feel about getting a new brother and sister?” I imagine the mix of displacement and intrigue I felt was similar to many an older child's feelings about getting a new sibling. I was initially resistant to thinking of them as a brother and sister... I mean, I already have brothers and sisters – the ones I grew up with. It took me a while to figure out what my role with these kids would be, and it took a while for me to fully open my heart to them.

I didn't understand my mother's choice – as I 'm sure she hasn't understood many of mine. Her decision to adopt more/other children made the little-girl in me feel I wasn't enough, when really it had nothing whatsoever to do with me. And these children, like all children, need love. Even more love than most, I think, given their particular circumstances and the general feelings of abandonment/confusion all foster/adopted children feel. And wasn't I in a great position to offer them love?

So, gradually, I've come around. It still makes me sad sometimes that I am not able to enjoy my mom in the ways I had hoped to as my own children have needed me less and less-- she's in the throes of busy parenting, and I remember how hectic that can be! (How's that for a role reversal?) 

The point is this: Charles and MadiLynn are precious people. I can be their big sister who functions more like an aunt. They are one of the most unexpected things that has happened in my life, and I honor and trust the forces that brought them here. My goal is simply to love them, to be a safe haven for them, a constant in their lives. We have something very important in common – a loving mother.

1 comment:

  1. Very special, but the mixed feelings sound right, too. Change in family dynamics often throw us for a loop. I know these thoughtful ways of your mother are in you, too, Irene. There's a story or a poem coming...


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