Monday, December 17, 2018

TRIBE OF MENTORS: Q.10 How (& When) to Say NO

Welcome to the latest installment of my TRIBE OF MENTORS by Timothy Ferriss series. I will post the final question and answer tomorrow.

Earlier posts:
Q.1 about books
Q.2 about best purchase under $100
Q.4 my billboard message
Q.5 most worthwhile investment
Q.6 absurd love
Q.7 new belief that's improved my life
Q.8 advice for college students
Q.9 bad recommendations for poets & authors

Today's question:

In the last five years, what have you become better at saying no to (distractions, invitations, etc.)? What new realizations and/or approaches helped? Any other tips?

something I said YES to:
a trip to climb the fire tower
at Palisades Park
I adore this question! It's still a struggle for me, saying "no," when my life philosophy is pretty much to say YES to everything! But. I am only one person. And learning to say "no" more often has been essential. 

These days I am better at saying no to anything I do not think I will enjoy. Which means asking a lot of other questions about the event, and being honest: will I be required to sit behind a table for hours? NO. Will I be "competing" with other authors, having to "pitch" my books and beg for people to stop by my table? NO. You get the idea!

...another YES...
The question I ask now is not, “Will it be worth it? Should I?” 

Instead I ask: “Do I WANT to? Will it be fun?" 

And here is the kicker: "Is it worth me giving up time with my family and the peace of the lake?”

When I remember that time is a limited resource, it makes it easier for me to be honest about what these events cost me. And the truth is, I am less and less willing to be someplace else when I can be here with the people I love best.

1 comment:

  1. I'm not that good at saying no....and I get overbooked and overbusy because of that. When I focus in on my career as a teacher, I have always been able to say no (sometimes passively and sometimes aggressively) to things like scripted lessons, behavior wheels, Classroom Dojo, and switching classes by subject (specialization over generalization at the elementary level).


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